But while maiming myself, I got to thinking, my nipples had never been itchy until I became pregnant. So, the connecting thought to that since I'm bored is why not make a list of things that having been pregnant has ruined.
- My emotions. Before I was pregnant, I cried maybe once every 6-9 months and that was just to get the pent up schnit out. During pregnancy, I think I was pretty decent when it came to not crying a lot, but after pregnancy, oh that is a different story my friend...My emotions are permanently f*cked. I cry during the Pampers "Silent Night" commercial, really anything to do with babies, sometimes the news, really just random bullshit stuff, that I have personally laughed at other people for crying about. Karma is such a bitch.
- The obvious is saying my body, but that is a blanket topic, DUH my body was ruined, but let me explain how:
- My nipples itch like a mofo, I mean truely sometimes I feel they won't stop itching until I scratch them off, I believe I've made them bleed before or in the very least brought blood to the surface.
- I have stretch marks on my body (the thick flamey looking ones) that look like they belong on a pimped out GTO
- My little kangaroo sack thing I have going on that, on some days, it feels like it would be a good idea to cut off myself, since I'm too poor and lazy to get cosmetic surgery done on it.
- The panther tattoo on my hip, kind of turned into a tiger because of the fore mentioned stretchmarks.
- My thyroid, ZOMG did being pregnant mess with my thyroid (it's the little gland that controls metabolism and emotions) lost 40 lbs in 6 weeks after the baby, gained 35 lbs in 6 months after the 6 weeks mentioned.
- Oh, and during pregnancy I had gestational diabetes, that was scarring by itself, waking up and puking because you had a piece of cake (FINE pieces of cake), isn't fun. Neither was passing out in Kohl's on Black Friday. Luckily that went away after Mary was born.
Leave me a message in the comments below telling me what's changed about you, since you were pregnant ;)