Monday, March 31, 2014

I didn't do it...

The other morning, I walk into the kitchen area to find a heaping pile of stuffing (not food, animal) on the kitchen table. First thought? Dafuq?

I look at Mary and say "What is that?"
Her reply?: "I didn't do it!"
Um, well it wasn't me and we don't have pets...
Me: "Where is it?"
Mary:  "I didn't do it!" cue sobbing
Me: "Where is it?"
Mary: "It wasn't my fault!"
Me: "Of course it's your fault, you pulled the stuffing out of it!"
Mary: "It's not my fault!"
Me *now getting pissed*: "Where is the stuffed animal that you pulled that out of?"
Mary *sobbing hysterically: "It's outside!"
Me-WTH? Now I'm actually worried she went outside alone "Mary where is the stuffed animal?"
Mary: "It's in the woods!"
Me-*Looks outside* the nearest woods are across the backyard, over a 5' fence, and across a graveyard: "Mary WHERE is the stuffed animal"
Mary: "It's in my bedroom"
Me-Finally! "Go get it"
Mary runs into her room grabs it and of course it's not one of the cheap stuffed animals, it's one of those $80 Vermont Teddy Bears, with a hole the size of a hand in it's back and 1/4 of the stuffing missing.

While I was pissed she destroyed a toy, then pissed she lied, and then pissed at the thought that she might have gone outside alone, it's still a pretty funny story. She was so dramatic and the random shit that was coming out of her mouth was priceless, if not horrifying at the same time. My husband had a good laugh over it, after he got over the part about her saying she went outside.

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