I'm scrolling through Facebook now, wow I post a lot of stupid shit. Still scrolling, okay maybe I don't post as much stuff about Mary on there as I thought...
November 28, 2013
Our First Thanksgiving alone (more depressing then funny, our life kind of sucks right now)
November 26, 2013
In the course of a 10 minute mommy needs to put warmth back into her limbs before they fall off bath. Mary did 2 things that had me bust a gut
1."Mom, sing the p t p t p t song" "Mary I don't know what song that is" "Yes you do it's the p t p t song, if you sing it I'll give you cookies and a lollipop"
2.She's sitting on the ledge of the tub with her legs crossed, her arm drapped over my head, I closed my eyes and leaned against her, she elbowed my head over, said wake up, peeled my eye lid up and started laughing hysterically and fell off the side of the tub.
November 26, 2013
Mary sounds like a dying wookie when she cries before her nap
November 24, 2013
OK
wth? This is Mary's third day without a pacifier at all (she thinks I
threw them away), so while she was in the other room, I went to grab her
pacifiers from the top shelf and move them to a cupboard, she yells
from the back room as I was reaching for them "Mom, do you have my
pi's?" Me caught red handed but she still can't see me replies
"Nooo...?", Mary replies "Are you lying?"
November 23, 2013
Mary won a Snoopy Doll from Bingo at the mall, yeah she's one cool kid, playing bingo and all
November 22, 2013
Mary assumed I threw her pacifiers away when she got home from school, so I just went along with it. Since assuming the worst she's been throwing random dramatic tantrums, has berated me, and even attempted to search through the trash, but I'm happy to report that she's passed out in her bed pacifier free.
November 20, 2013
Mary just heard the crinkling of a candy wrapper from 3 rooms away...wtf
October 31, 2013
March 6, 2013
February 3, 2013
February 1, 2013
January 14, 2013
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December 20, 2012
December 9, 2012
December 7, 2012
November 28, 2012
November 20, 2012
October 17, 2013
September 11, 2012
August 16, 2012
My fat ass just walked to the gas station to get some milk with Mary, please note it's only about a quarter of a mile to and from the store.
While normally I don't have issues with this, I developed one when I had to carry Mary back to the house on my shoulders and carry the gallon of milk. When we got home I was breathing like I just ran a 5k and broke out in a profuse sweat, I'd say diet and exercise are in order, but who am I kidding...
Too lazy to go further down my Facebook time line, so that's all for now folks
October 31, 2013
Hate when I hear a loud noise and then Mary yells "It's Nuffin, Mommy!"
October 10, 2013
Mary: "Mommy stop doing that I'm talking to myself"...k
August 6, 2013
Mary's
sick today, slight fever, cold, and not hungry. I was cuddling up to
her on the couch when she started to throwup and while I was trying to
comfort her, she looks up at me with tears streaming down her face and
says...
"I want a cookie"
I haven't laughed that hard in weeks, god she's totally my daughter
"I want a cookie"
I haven't laughed that hard in weeks, god she's totally my daughter
July 17, 2013
Super proud of Mary for not going pee in the pool or bathtub lol
July 12, 2013
Mary:
" hurry up my tummy is starting to grumble" as I'm taking the pizza
out, "just a little bite?" No mary it will burn your tongue "no it won't
I promise"
July 7, 2013
Mary's singing bubble butt wtf lol
July 4, 2013
Wow mary just drew a really good boy and girl, didn't think 3 year olds could draw that we'll. Totally impressed
June 10, 2013
So a few things:
1)Mary is officially potty trained, she doesn't even need a diaper at night anymore
2)She's getting really sassy, she really couldn't wait a 10 years to start that?
3)I'm sick of her humming the Star Wars theme song
1)Mary is officially potty trained, she doesn't even need a diaper at night anymore
2)She's getting really sassy, she really couldn't wait a 10 years to start that?
3)I'm sick of her humming the Star Wars theme song
March 18, 2013
Aww Mary just dressed herself (shirt, undies, and pants), she's growing up too fast
March 15, 2013
Mary: "You're my favorite best girl in da whole wide world, I love you"
March 6, 2013
So
to try and wean Mary off the pacifier I cut holes in all of them and
she hates it, when I gave her one for bed just now she comes up to me
and says "My Pi's broken go buy me a new one..." wth?
March 6, 2013
Well
Mary has an imaginary friend and he's a Doctor, but I don't think he's a
very good one because she'll randomly say "O NO, ________ Died!" kinda
creepy really, not even sure where she learned the whole dead concept
either
February 3, 2013
OMG
Mary just horrified Bob and I for a second, she kept saying "Black
people don't cross the track" we kept asking her where she learned that
and she just kept repeating it until we realized she was looking at a
black and white picture in the bathroom of two people doing the tango in
the street next to railroad tracks. Crisis averted
February 1, 2013
OMG, LMAO!
Bob's back hurts really bad and I just went over and sat on the couch
with him. Mary comes over and says in a panicked voice "Daddy you okay?!
Did mommy cut you"
LMFAO I died laughing. I have no clue where she learned that or if that's what she meant to say, but it was freaking hilarious, especially if you know me.
LMFAO I died laughing. I have no clue where she learned that or if that's what she meant to say, but it was freaking hilarious, especially if you know me.
January 19, 2013
Mary put her pants on her head and is running around saying "ARRRGGHHH, I'm a pirate!"
Mary is a...I'm going to say brat. Do you know
how hard and ironic it is to have someone sit on your stomach while you
do crunches eating a freakin cupcake? Pretty hard, and when I started
LMAO she started laughing too and spit cupcake all over me. SMH
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December 28, 2012
Mary inherited my monkey toes, I'm so proud
Mary
just threw all of the blankets off the bed, then climbed into a hamper
of clean laundry with the iPad, and was just chillin'. Pretty sure she's
an odd little duck
So
I weeded and sorted through Mary's toys today. Well she just got home
and after she ran and gave me a hug, she went back in the living room,
looked around and yelled "Mommy, you cleaned? Good job mommy!" lmao
thanks Mary
December 7, 2012
Mary just told bob to get up and get her a cookie...freakin hilarious
November 28, 2012
Mary
just walked up to be and held a stuffed apple up to me and said "I got
you a present," I then said "thank you baby I love it!," and she said
"You're welcome, Mama!" with the biggest smile on her face. I Love her,
lol
November 20, 2012
I don't know if it's good or not when your toddler yells from the other room "Mom, I'm okay! I'm okay, mom"
October 17, 2013
Well
that was awesome. Mary and I were jumping on the bed, all the while Bob
was saying your gonna break it, your gonna break it. You know what
happened? I didn't break it, but Mary fell back laughing hysterically
and peed all over a clean stack of laundry. I did all I could not to
laugh my ass off
September 11, 2012
Mary knows how to use a VHS player, I am thoroughly impressed...
My fat ass just walked to the gas station to get some milk with Mary, please note it's only about a quarter of a mile to and from the store.
While normally I don't have issues with this, I developed one when I had to carry Mary back to the house on my shoulders and carry the gallon of milk. When we got home I was breathing like I just ran a 5k and broke out in a profuse sweat, I'd say diet and exercise are in order, but who am I kidding...
Too lazy to go further down my Facebook time line, so that's all for now folks
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